Thursday, July 17, 2008

While Everything Burns-2nd Verse

Woman dies after being hit by a car.
She was crossing the highway, on foot, at 2 a.m.
She was hit by a police car.

Gun Battle in the drugstore parking lot.
Armed robber walks past armed security guard, proceeds to back of store to try and force clerk to open safe. Unsuccessful. Next option, hold everyone at gunpoint at front checkout and force said clerk to open register. In walks off-duty deputy, gunman flees, shots exchanged in parking lot. Perp gets away.

Struggle with burgler.
Cops enter a residence where there is a burglary in progress. People scatter. Cop chases down ‘big guy’ and tussle ensues. Cop hollers for help. Second cop tazers the perp. Twice.
Perp. Dead. “One officer transported to ___ ___ hospital for heat exhaustion.”

Carjack Jackpot.
Off Duty constable gets carjacked in his personal car. Crooks make off with car, gun, and tazer.

Oh and as a follow-up to fire stories:
1 apartment inferno caused by little girl playing with a lighter and torching the drapes.
Nursery fire was apparently arson (y’think?).
Oh, and one old couple’s house burns down… started by a cigarette. I thought Mythbusters proved that couldn’t happen.

Ahhh and the intellectual giants presenting the news:
When excitedly discussing the opening of 3 new lanes on the I-10 Parking Lot, one presenter exclaimed, "Its like open fields of a concrete prairie."
Y'know, I'm not sure, but I don't think there is another city anywhere where people wax poetic about concrete. GEESH

Otter: Ohhkkaayyy......maybe being out in podunk digging up rocks isn't such a bad thing. Ugh...never cared for open prairies....much less the rare sighting of a concrete one. I will keep my nasty cedar and mesquite, thank you very much.

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