WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?
So Big Dog got a good
Big Dog being Big Dog, we naturally loaded up on meat…meat…and meat with a side of meat. Our local new store had brisket on for $0.79/lb w/ $10 purchase. Not too shabby. Soooo, after enduring the live Mariachis in the meat dept.-yep, LIVE Mariachi Band! We snag a HUGE brisket. This sucker had to be cut in half cuz we didn’t have a pan big enough to marinate it all together. BD announces that he will marinate the meat for a day-then smoke it a day. Translation? Expect a ‘meat-fest’ on Tuesday night.
Only something went terribly wrong in BD’s brain (nothing new mind you-just wish there was a warning).
I get home-expecting, nah, anticipating said meat-fest. I walk in after a crap-day and a crap-commute (granted, I HAVE been crab-i-lious lately, I think its shopping withdrawal) and DB, with a drunken flourish, unveils dinner.
I am standing there, Phoenecia groceries in hand, looking into the eyes of a stewed fish!
Yep-the whole damned fish; eyes, fins, gills; ALL!
I could not stop myself. It happened so quickly. There just wasn’t time to engage the internal dialogue.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”
“I didn’t have time to thaw anything out.” (OK, so the 20lbs of meat in the frig doesn’t count?)
“No more Anthony Bourdain for you. What? is the second course sheep’s intestine stuffed with spleen? Or maybe pigs anus?”
BD is at this point laughing so hard he is turning red-a sure sigh that he is 3 sheets to the wind.
“WHAT ABOUT THE 20 LBS OF BEEF IN THE FRIG?”
This was the moment, that defining moment, the one where you KNOW beyond any doubt that you have pushed the issue too far.
“I’M GONNA SMOKE THAT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!”
I was to find out much later that he had planned a party for the next day. Wednesday-the middle of the work week, a BBQ beerbash….’scuse me? When were you going to let me in on this “David Tuturra” moment?
You know how I found out? One of his buds called to cancel.
But wait…there’s more.
Once the fur settled and the blood dried, we sat down to pick through one of the boniest fish I’ve ever seen and catch a little ‘tube.
We finished the evening cordially enough, watching “The Alaska Experiment” and trying to wash the taste of the (come to find out) Drum fish out of our mouths.
On the show, the participants are shooting squirrel and bunnies for dinner. BD starts grilling me on the best time to kill squirrels for food.
“If I get home tomorrow and you are cooking up squirrel gravy? You are going to get banned from watching this show as well!”
All I can say is Thank God we don’t watch Andrew Zimmern!
Otter: Okay, now you are just trying to make me throw up! And a Mariachi band??????
Oh, and Bubby is banned from cooking at my house!