The Heart of Darkness

AKA: The Sit N Knit Holiday Gift Exchange
The rules were simple enough. Rummage ones stash. Find yarn that needed a new home. Enclose an appropriate pattern for said yarn. Simple, right?
Well, I shoulda sat this one out. Really. 18 bags on the table, 18 chances to get something just lovely, odds; 18:1 for disaster. Thursday was my lucky night. Shoulda bought a lotto ticket on the way home.
Eighteen hopeful faces sitting around clutching their little numbers that indicated the draw order. Everyone noisely harrassing the current recipient in a malenge of good-will and comradery.
Seventeen sock knitters.....
Yes, I, the lone non-sock knitter stood to make my choice, smilingly enduring (and enjoying) the ribbing of others. Which to choose, which shiney bag would be enhancing my stash-ahhhh, that one, no that one, no.....ok, just close your eyes and grab, good....now return to seat tightly clutching the slippery, glossy homage to the pionsetta.
Return to good-natured ribbing of others. 16,17,18....Yeah!
Madness ensues with everyone digging and squealing at once. What do I got, what do I got.....
That's right.....sock yarn. It is a lovely variegated called "Strawberry Patch". And a sock pattern. O crap.....be gracious, make a joke, do something quick...that must be the giver staring intently at you. Of all things I coulda said, "Wow, stands to reason-since I'm the only person here who doesn't knit socks!" was probably the most powerfully stupid thing I've said in at least a couple of weeks. I could have laid odds on what happened next. There was the sock knitter's chorus of , "Oh, its easy.""Oh, you can do it.""You'll love it."
Yes, these are exactly the same phrases used by crack-heads to get others to do crack....
I've never told anyone, but secretly I didn't WANT to knit socks. With all those wonderful sweaters, etc. out there waiting to be created in my limited 'stick' time, I just didn't WANT all that time to be eaten by socks.....
I cast on my first sock this morning.......