News of the weird

Good Morning.
I was all prepared to write a post about our local news stretching for relevance, but then, my day began to unfold.
Remember the hell-hole I used to work in? In the "unsavory" side of town? Remember when I left? They released me because I had a "bad attitude"?
Heh,heh.....
I get a call this morning. I don't recognize the voice, but the caller ID says "J_________".
Then the voice tells me, "Remember me? I've been trying to track you down. I worked in ____ dept. I got promoted and needed a _____ and I immediately thought of you."
ME :"oh, really"
HIM:"Yeah, I talked to T_____ , he's the dept.head now, and told him we would probably have to "pay" for you because of your skill and experience."
ME:"oh, really" By this time I'm biting my lip to keep from openly laughing in his "face".
HIM:"Oh yeah, he said 'fine, we can probably get her whatever she needs'."
ME: "oh REAL-LY. Have you checked with HR to see if I'm even eligible for re-hire?"
HIM:"No....but would you be interested?"
I politely turned him down, of course. It would, afterall, be a step backwards careerwise. But I left him with the parting thought: "Now if D____'s job comes available-give me a call."
I am soooo certain they would not "get me what I need" to walk back in there. They couldn't afford my therapy bills! Woulda been nice if I had thought to give him a $$number before I turned him down.
Ahhhh-I can't tell you how long I've fantasized about that call and then it finally came and all I could do was.....laugh, hard.
O......M......G!!!!!!! I am so floored. Are you sure you weren't having a nice fantasy dream on some pain meds? I mean......THAT just doesn't happen. But there is one question.......does your head still fit through the door?
I repeat......O....M....G!