Why I love Fridays

Especially red Fridays.
Let me explain, the company offers flexible schedules. One option results in the worker having every other Friday off. The whole company is broken out into 3 teams, red, white, and blue. I am on white team…I don’t take every other Friday.
HR has tried really hard to divide blue and red evenly, but it really doesn’t work out that well. More people are on the red team. Thus, red Fridays are always really, really quiet. An added bonus is that for red and blue people, the Friday that they have to work-they get to leave 1 hour earlier than their normal schedule.
This is where it gets good.
In my corner of the world, out of 8 cubes and 3 offices, 6 are red team, one is blue(and leaves at 4), one leaves at 4 everyday, and one leaves at 4 if he has kid retrieval duty.
That means that the quiet turns into a morgue-like state at 4 with only one other person here…and she is busy surfing Craigslist.
For one whole hour I AM THE BOSS!
If I keep really quiet, no one knows that I’m even here…..
God I love Fridays!

Otter: Sweeet! Hey, I tried to send mom flowers for Mom's Day. The florist said they can't get orders to her city anymore because all the florist's there are so swamped that they are refusing anymore orders. I called Mom and told her I would bring her a nice outdoor plant as soon as I can get free. With the garage sale coming up, it is liable to be another week before I can get up there.
BTW.....it is 97 degrees in town right now......and 100 out at my house. I am just not ready for this yet!!

The Dangers of Living on Interstates

So I was sitting outside last night, enjoying the cool evening...knowing a hot day would follow...and it did....when I noticed a copter in the night sky, oddly quiet but well lit. I found it strange because we never see helicopters at night.
This evenings news brings the answer (and yes it was pretty darn close to 100 degrees). Seems there was this fugitive from Florida that had a little accident "a few miles west of town" and took off across ranchland with a shotgun. That copter flying over my house with lights on was a night vision bird looking for the bad guy running from the law with a shotgun. Hello! This is the second time in the past couple of months that there have been creeps setting off major manhunts around my tight section of the interstate!
Seriously considering a police scanner radio. I want to at least know when to load the gun and not leisurely lounge outside in the evenings like a sitting duck!!

ps. we need to discuss how you put cool pictures in. I need the picture of a maddog.

CubeDog: this is how I do it:1)search engine "maddog", click on IMAGE tab, choose your image, save to your 'puter. 2)when creating a post, click on the picture next to the checkmark(spell check), browse to your image, load 3)move image to where you want it within your post

Seriously scary stuff out in BFE, but then, that's just another "day in the life" over here.

WHAT THE HELL?

This should go under the heading of:
WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?
So Big Dog got a good paycheck; we decide to go grocery shopping. Not just the ,”Running to the store for milk and butter”, but the “We shouldn’t run out of T-Paper for a month” kind of shopping.
Big Dog being Big Dog, we naturally loaded up on meat…meat…and meat with a side of meat. Our local new store had brisket on for $0.79/lb w/ $10 purchase. Not too shabby. Soooo, after enduring the live Mariachis in the meat dept.-yep, LIVE Mariachi Band! We snag a HUGE brisket. This sucker had to be cut in half cuz we didn’t have a pan big enough to marinate it all together. BD announces that he will marinate the meat for a day-then smoke it a day. Translation? Expect a ‘meat-fest’ on Tuesday night.
Only something went terribly wrong in BD’s brain (nothing new mind you-just wish there was a warning).
I get home-expecting, nah, anticipating said meat-fest. I walk in after a crap-day and a crap-commute (granted, I HAVE been crab-i-lious lately, I think its shopping withdrawal) and DB, with a drunken flourish, unveils dinner.
I am standing there, Phoenecia groceries in hand, looking into the eyes of a stewed fish!
Yep-the whole damned fish; eyes, fins, gills; ALL!
I could not stop myself. It happened so quickly. There just wasn’t time to engage the internal dialogue.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”
“I didn’t have time to thaw anything out.” (OK, so the 20lbs of meat in the frig doesn’t count?)
“No more Anthony Bourdain for you. What? is the second course sheep’s intestine stuffed with spleen? Or maybe pigs anus?”

BD is at this point laughing so hard he is turning red-a sure sigh that he is 3 sheets to the wind.
“WHAT ABOUT THE 20 LBS OF BEEF IN THE FRIG?”
This was the moment, that defining moment, the one where you KNOW beyond any doubt that you have pushed the issue too far.
“I’M GONNA SMOKE THAT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!”
I was to find out much later that he had planned a party for the next day. Wednesday-the middle of the work week, a BBQ beerbash….’scuse me? When were you going to let me in on this “David Tuturra” moment?
You know how I found out? One of his buds called to cancel.
But wait…there’s more.
Once the fur settled and the blood dried, we sat down to pick through one of the boniest fish I’ve ever seen and catch a little ‘tube.
We finished the evening cordially enough, watching “The Alaska Experiment” and trying to wash the taste of the (come to find out) Drum fish out of our mouths.
On the show, the participants are shooting squirrel and bunnies for dinner. BD starts grilling me on the best time to kill squirrels for food.
“If I get home tomorrow and you are cooking up squirrel gravy? You are going to get banned from watching this show as well!”

All I can say is Thank God we don’t watch Andrew Zimmern!

Otter: Okay, now you are just trying to make me throw up! And a Mariachi band??????

Oh, and Bubby is banned from cooking at my house!

Wild weekend in the City

I would just like to begin by saying: if you're a fan of Carlos Mencia-you get it....if not, I don't care.......
It was a wild weekend here. I'm glad we stayed home and played 'domesticas'.
The body count by this morning was 13 dead-most of those were homicides.
Other Scoreboards: Houses 2
Cars 0
But the best story by far, the one that gets my 1st ever Carlos Mencia Commemorative Award for Stupidity goes to.........(drumroll)
The young woman who was racing down a suburban street, lost control of her car, ran into a closed garage door , the 2 vehicles on the other side of it, then the fence and tree beside the garage. Both she and her passenger failed the field sobriety test. She was protesting her innocence all the way to central booking, saying "she hadn't done anything wrong."
Dumb, drunk chick-we salute you...
All together now-you know the cheer>>>>>>>>>>>>Dee,Da,Deeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The close runner-up has to be the guy who had to be rescued from his flaming pick-up by a passing tow-truck driver. The dude had lost control on the freeway, took out 4 trees before coming to a flaming stop. He blames the whole thing on what? Restless Leg Syndrome!
Yes Ladies and Gents.....
the gene pool may be large here....but its very, very shallow.
Otter: gee.....I didn't know I could use RLS as an excuse! I will file that one away...good for giving any officer a chuckle.
You make Podunk BFE look like paradise on a stick (or is that in the sticks). As far as I know, the biggest thing so far this year was the murder, which I haven't heard has been solved.....need to do my nosey poking around to find out. Hmm...sounds like a good reason to email my BFF, she knows everything that goes on around here.
In the "It's All Good" catagory; The other half went back to work this morning. Two more weeks of the sweet life. I only have to spend three days with him next time he is home, then I am off to the beach! WooHoo! Not that I don't like his company, just that....well....The Clueless One, ya know?

My Pain Never Ends

Remember when I moaned endlessly about the tv for each eyeball? I was so glad when we got that settled. Then last month The Clueless One came home with a new toy cuz all his friends had this new toy and he wanted one. Of course, it came in the disguise of a gift for me (too bad you can't see my eyes roll). Needless to say, this didn't fit into the old cabinet. I looked for weeks and we finally found a new cabinet I liked. Tada! Craftsmen style in a way.
Cubedog: beautiful, lovely...now the bookcases on the other hand....
Otter: Shaddup......I haven't gotten that far in the weeding process yet. But if you are refering to the golden oak color.....amazingly enough, The Clueless One got a clue and noticed. Of course, that meant another project for me....staining the bookcases. On a lighter note, the cabinet should go with the mantle surround I found at the thrift store....thirties craftsman style.

So what happened to the old tv and cabinet,you ask? So glad you asked. The Clueless One decided he wanted to use the cabinet in his office. No problem. I helped him shuffle desks, then left him alone to figure it out. It wasn't very long before I heard him call me to come see.....quick! He could hardly wait for me to see his masterpiece.......






All I can figure is that it comes in handy when he is lying on the sofa that faces it, he once again has a tv for each eyeball. You can't tell from the pic, but yes, they are tuned to the same channel.
The Clueless One has outfoxed me......again.
Cubedog: Peas & Rice! Is that a 3rd TV on the very tippy top? I could (almost) understand if they were on different channels, but what the HelloDolly?!? Not even Bigdog would try to pull that one and we all know how creative he can be;case in point, I want a patio cover-he goes out and buys and installs on my oak tree one Army surplus parachute......

Otter: Au contraire.....tis the Bose up there, which blasts Symphony quality sound at Clueless One. It's his office so he does what he wants in there. At least I only have a big honking 40 inch plasma tv to make it's presence known. No one had a cabinet big enough to hide that monstrosity.

I asked for a front porch....picturing a quaint wood railing and all that cute country porch idea. Instead I get pipe frame and pipe railing. He likes to point out how he got decorative and used spiraled pipe on the front posts. I just put the big nix on metal siding. The roof is okay...Hawaiian Blue looks good....metal siding not so much. I just can't take anymore metal around here!

???????????

Its National Crochet Month!

You Hookin'?

Otter: Well duh! Hookin a pair of socks out of Tofutsies. I intend to have them to wear at the end of the month. Just finished two purses that I need to line.

Okay, I live on the coast. Subtropical zone...and its MARCH! This morning I watched as a humongous snow sheild slowly inched its way towards my house. I'm wearing a long-sleeved T, my Keltic sweater, wristwarmers, a trenchcoat, and my handmade socks....and I'm freezing. Thank God and Fedex that Mom got her knitted cape Wednesday, cuz I can only imagine how cold ya'll are further north. Ugh, I knew this was coming. Had a feeling that I was going to get at least one more chance to wear my new sweater before God opened the oven door on the south.

Otter: Just got the deep freeze effect this round. Last week the youngest had to rub my nose in the fact that it was snowing up in Mom's city, then called again when 20 miles from home saying it was still snowing. He was bringing it south with him, but alas, only slight flurries...when I blinked they were gone. Got a nice little bit of rain yesterday, still could use some more. I am seriously sick of covering and uncovering plants and living with a jungle in the house!

In other news, I hope they find, and bury, that piece of excrement that bombed the recruiting center in New York. Justice would be to put him in Marine Corp boot camp....and tell all the Marines just what he did. Or maybe turn the patients at Walter Reed loose on him.

Amen sister!!

As the Stomach Turns-a political rant

ok-yeah-Obama lost Texas last night. So what do you think CNN is batting around this morning? Oh, a little thing called 'race'. Obama lost because of race.
WHAT?
More hispanics voted for Hillary and more A-As voted for Obama......who is it that is bringing these numbers to our attention? Who is it that is throwing 'color/race' into the mix? The MSM. Can't they just give us the numbers? Who the hell asked them to break it down by race?
If folks want to live in a 'colorblind' world-it has to start with the MSM.
A$$&*%@S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otter: Not only that, but imagine for a minute, God forbid, he wins the office. No one.....Not one human on this planet, will be allowed to parody, mimic, or otherwise make fun of him as they do Dubya.......because MSM and AA organizations would scream racist. Political cartoonists would be out of their jobs. SNL would have half their material censored. There would be no colorblindness....anything against him would be labeled racist. The liberals are the worst at racism, they promote it by labeling everything racist anyway.
My rant finished.